The Rugby Game

  I have been learning to use show not tell, to make my narrative writing interesting. To do this I have tried to include character dialogue, and describe what the characters think and feel.
This is a story I changed.
not finished

                                                            The Rugby Game

There was once two sister who were not at all alike; they were different in every way.

Amelia the elder sister stayed inside on her own, talking and trying on makeup. Lila the younger sister played outside with her friends, running and shouting, throwing and kicking, passing and tumbling. At night she slept soundly in her room, but Amelia would lie awake talking with her friends. Sometimes Lila would creep into her room to frighten her, for she knew that she was afraid of loud noises. Whenever they were together they fought and argued. All the time.

One morning their mother grew impatient with them. “ Like spider and fly! Out you go together,” she said, “ and try to be nice to each other just for once. “ Why did you have to come?” Lila Moaned. “ I didn’t want to come. This place annoys me.” replied Amelia “You’re such a chicken! You never liked sports!” Lila left her to go get the ball.

“Hey! Come here!” Lila yelled a little while later, Gingerly, Amelia walked over hesitantly to meet her at a big rugby game on the other side of the road. “Come on, let's go sneak into the game.” Amelia froze in place. “N-no you mustn’t,” she muttered, imagining all the horrible things it could lead to… “ Ah! You’re boring,” said Lila as she ran into the game.

Amelia waited for her to come back. Fear gripped her heart. Tears threatened to burst from her eyes.

What could she do? She had to follow Lila into the rugby game. The rugby game was loud and rough,

sporty and scary. On the other side, she found herself on an empty road - there was no sign of Lila.

Quivering, she saw the quiet road morph into a loud game. . .