The Rugby Game

  I have been learning to use show not tell, to make my narrative writing interesting. To do this I have tried to include character dialogue, and describe what the characters think and feel.
This is a story I changed.
not finished

                                                            The Rugby Game

There was once two sister who were not at all alike; they were different in every way.

Amelia the elder sister stayed inside on her own, talking and trying on makeup. Lila the younger sister played outside with her friends, running and shouting, throwing and kicking, passing and tumbling. At night she slept soundly in her room, but Amelia would lie awake talking with her friends. Sometimes Lila would creep into her room to frighten her, for she knew that she was afraid of loud noises. Whenever they were together they fought and argued. All the time.

One morning their mother grew impatient with them. “ Like spider and fly! Out you go together,” she said, “ and try to be nice to each other just for once. “ Why did you have to come?” Lila Moaned. “ I didn’t want to come. This place annoys me.” replied Amelia “You’re such a chicken! You never liked sports!” Lila left her to go get the ball.

“Hey! Come here!” Lila yelled a little while later, Gingerly, Amelia walked over hesitantly to meet her at a big rugby game on the other side of the road. “Come on, let's go sneak into the game.” Amelia froze in place. “N-no you mustn’t,” she muttered, imagining all the horrible things it could lead to… “ Ah! You’re boring,” said Lila as she ran into the game.

Amelia waited for her to come back. Fear gripped her heart. Tears threatened to burst from her eyes.

What could she do? She had to follow Lila into the rugby game. The rugby game was loud and rough,

sporty and scary. On the other side, she found herself on an empty road - there was no sign of Lila.

Quivering, she saw the quiet road morph into a loud game. . .

how healthy are you?

In class, we are learning how to stay healthy physically and mentally.

I learned that to stay healthy, you need to have a healthy mindset. 

cold task

in class. we do a cold task a piece of writing you do and it tells the teacher what you already know and after that, you do a self-assessment, a dot means Not yet, two ticks mean developing, and three ticks mean super good.

My next step is to use some figurative language 

 One nice easter day I was at my best friend Tailah’s house getting ready for a trip to go to one of her grandma's houses for an easter hunt and a barbeque.

I was in Tailah’s room at the time I was doing my hair and getting ready then I was walking out of the room when I tripped and landed on a glass door and shattered the glass slicing my hand when I looked at it I Could See the bone of my thumb then my hand was all covered in blood.

Tailah’s mum walked out of her room wondering who was crying, she took one look at my hand and ran me to the kitchen and grabbed paper towels and applied pressure to my wound then she called her husband and he came and told me to sit on the couch.

Tailah’s mum called 111 and answered all the questions the nurse asked. At the same time, Tailah’s dad was rapping my hand.  

  

Embracing Forgiveness

In-class our topic is Forgiveness. We are learning why it is important. We read about Ngakuku and how forgiveness stopped the ongoing war. Here is my reading response.

I learned that true forgiveness needs gods power.

survive on an island

                       

                                                              Survivor

                                                      

                                                                       

   I was going on a plane trip with my best friend,

 we decided to go to Pairs to see the Eiffel tower in France because we haven't seen it before. The plane trip was about 7 to 8 hours but they made up for it with free snacks, and of course I had the window seat. I could see the ocean; it was mesmerizing.

                                                     

  I was watching the ocean when the plane started shaking. I think it's called turbulence. My friend was  freaking out, she thought we were going to crash but it turns out she was right.  ¨We are going to crash land,'' the pilot announced. Everyone was screaming saying, ¨WERE GONNA DIE.¨  I had faith. Me and my friend were in the bracing position hoping we were going to be fine. I looked at the person next to us. She had a baby in her arms crying. ¨ We're going to be okay,¨ the pilot announced. The plane jerked and that knocked out both of us.

                                                                          

 The only thing I could remember was  waking up to see fire on the other side of the plane. We were on an island with a lot of palm trees and a big mountain. I smashed the window and woke up my friend and pulled her out the window. We landed on the sand and it looked like no one else was there. Only us on an island with a plane and a lot of unconscious  or dead people. Now we have to survive with nothing but a plane that's on the fire and  coconuts, trees, along with my best friend. We sat and appreciated that we were still alive and unfortunately the plane was completely on fire.

 

    

 We spent a few days on the island, nothing much. We just made a hut and ate coconuts. We were on the island for at least 3 days now and we made friends with mister coconut and Mrs coconut and that's mainly it . It was the forth day. I couldn't sleep that night because I was wondering what was going to happen the next day, like if we were going to get rescued or not. I finally fell asleep  and woke up a few hours later and there were. ¨PEOPLE,¨ I shouted and accidentally woke up my friend. ¨PEOPLE, ¨ there were people to come save us. They were in a BIG, blue rescue boat . We ran to the ocean and they greeted us while we climbed on board.